Learn how to fix and save a broken marriage in this 6-Step Marriage Repair Bootcamp!
If you are sincere about learning how to fix and restore your broken marriage, this Marriage Repair Boot Camp, if carefully followed, will certainly help you implement the God-kind of love in your relationship.
Eddie and I are celebrating 50 years of marriage this year, and I wanted to share with you the steps we've taken to get here.
On a scale from 1 to 10, where 1 = "Forget it! I don't want to be married to you anymore," and 10 = Happily Ever After, we've been on all 10!
I could discuss the various types of love cited by theologians, philosophers, psychologists, and others, but here, I only want to focus on two: human love and the God-kind of love.
After 50 years of matrimony, I have concluded that there is but one thing that lies at the seat of every failed marriage: a lack of understanding by one or both parties of how to apply the God-kind of love. So . . .
Welcome to the Marriage Repair Boot Camp
A 6-Step Guide to the God-Kind of Love!
If you are sincere about learning how to fix and restore your broken marriage, this Marriage Repair Boot Camp, if carefully followed, will certainly help you implement the God-kind of love in your relationship.
1 John 4:7-8
[7] Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.
[8] He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.
Are you ready? Let's get started!
Human Love vs The God-Kind of Love
The Holy Spirit, through Paul, describes the attributes of the God-kind of love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a.
But before I share what the God-kind of love is, I will share what it is not. Knowing what it is not will help you better appreciate what it is.
The God-kind of love is NOT human love. Relying solely on human love is not how to save your broken marriage.
What is Human Love?
Following is a brief synopsis of the attributes of human love.
Human love is the diminished level of love acquired when Adam fell in the Garden. We all have human love, whether you are a Christian or not.
Human love is selfish; it all too often thinks of itself.
Human love too often finds its voice in selfishness, thereby preventing healthy communication.
Human love does not govern well but rather gives place to emotional governance.
Human love does not interrupt arguments but allows them to mushroom. It cannot ward off offense and gives place to unforgiveness and bitterness.
Human love leaves doors open to temptation and allows for infidelity.
Because of its selfish nature, human love is often blind to financial wisdom.
Human love gives place to pride thereby preventing humility and the ability to say, "I'm sorry."
Human love restricts its outflow when it feels mistreated or disrespected, and it justifies its actions.
Human love fails. It cannot go the distance. It cannot hold a candle to the God-kind of love.
What is the God-Kind of Love
The God-kind of love thinks like God, acts like God, forgives like God.
The God-kind of love LOVES like God!
"But I'm not God," you might say, "so how can I act like God?"
You're right! We are not God. And in and of ourselves, we can NEVER love like Him. BUT . . . that's why He sent Jesus to Earth to demonstrate what the God-kind of love looks like in human form.
Everything Jesus did during His life on Earth was from a position of love. His life, death, burial, resurrection, and ascension were all acts of pure love—the God-kind of love!
Before Jesus left the Earth, He promised that God would send the Comforter, the Holy Spirit, Who would indwell the spirits of those who accept Jesus as Lord and Savior (John 14:26).
The Holy Spirit within us empowers us to love like God loves!
Romans 5:5
. . . the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.
How to Save A Broken Marriage
There it is! The Holy Spirit gives us the love to love with! All we have to do is let Him do what He does through us!
That's what Eddie and I did. As a result, we have grown old together and are living our Happily Ever After!
We followed the six steps outlined below, and our lives together prove they work!
SO . . . if you're ready to learn how to fix a broken marriage . . . let's get started.
1 - Get Your Bible
Proverbs 4:20-23
[20] My son, attend to my words; incline thine ear unto my sayings.
[21] Let them not depart from thine eyes; keep them in the midst of thine heart.
[22] For they are life unto those that find them, and health to all their flesh.
[23] Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.
Within ourselves, it is often difficult to see where we are personally wrong in the relationship, but we should be willing to compare our behavior with what is prescribed in the Word of God. And be willing to make the necessary changes.
2 - Ask God to Show You Yourself
Psalm 139:23-24
[23] Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:
[24] And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
Because we are so negatively affected by our mates' unfair, irritating, selfish behavior, we focus our thoughts, prayer, and attention on getting him/her fixed. As a result, we are blinded to our own imperfections, which, of course, are minimal in our eyes. But God will lovingly show them to you if you let Him. Yes, you have some too.
3 - Ask Your Mate to Forgive You for Your
Own Past Poor Behavior
This requires humbling yourself. Even if you cannot see one thing you’ve done wrong, trust that because none of us are perfect, there is something you could have handled a better way. Remember, because of your sincere prayer in Item 2 above, God will begin to lovingly deal with you about yourself, and He will also show you how to interact with your mate in wisdom.
4 - Be Willing to Forgive from the Heart
Matthew 6:14-15
[14] For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
[15] But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
You cannot do this by yourself, but God will help you. He knows how to do it better than anyone—He forgave you. Just be willing to forgive. “Want” to be willing to forgive, even if you feel you can’t get over it, and God will walk you through to victory by His Word. If you say you’ve forgiven and keep bringing it up, you have more work to do in this area. But don’t worry. God will help you to let it go from the heart.
5 - Eliminate Arguments from Your
Marriage Completely
Proverbs 21:23
Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles.
I know this is not the easiest thing to do, but hands down, it works! How can you completely eliminate arguments from your marriage? Just zip it! It takes two to argue!
When you sense your interaction is becoming too intense, put the matter on hold and revisit it later. Always remember that God is present with you to help you. His Spirit within you will help you to wait. He wants you to get it right. When you make this "right" decision, the Holy Spirit will provide a window to revisit and discuss the matter while following His lead.
6 - Reinforce Love Daily
1 Corinthians 13:4-8a (AMPC)
[4] Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.
[5] It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].
[6] It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.
[7] Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].
[8] Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end].
These Bible verses describe the God-kind of love. It is not human love, and therefore, as humans, we cannot love this way without the help of the Holy Spirit within us.
I encourage you to read together with your mate 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a (AMPC). How often? Every day. If you cannot read them with your mate, read them alone. How often? Every day. This will nurture God’s love within you and renew your mind to the God-kind of love. It is the Word of God that taught Eddie and me how to save our marriage.
Eddie and I read these bible verses together, and sometimes, I read them alone. During the process, the Lord began to deal with me through each verse. I had to make a conscious decision to allow these verses to govern my thoughts and actions.
I wanted to please God, not Eddie. My desire to please God kept me on track, even when I didn't feel Eddie deserved what the God-kind of love offers.
Obstacles You Will Face
The God-kind of love CANNOT fail. Your marriage will NOT fall apart when governed by the God-kind of love.
BUT . . .
Unlike human love, the God-kind of love does not allow for pride, selfishness, deceit, bitterness, unforgiveness, jealousy, and the like. Human love allows it, but the God-kind of love does not.
So when you are faced with these human frailties, turn from them. And remember, as you confess them to God, God is faithful and just to forgive you and cleanse you from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9).
Without these human frailties, the God-kind of love can flow freely!
Always remember, human love is not enough to save your marriage. Human love fails. It cannot go the distance.
The God-kind of love never fails!
The God-kind of love will show you how to fix and save a broken marriage so that you, too, can live your Happily Ever After!
Find a treasure trove of biblical wisdom with God’s Medicine Scriptures—a beautifully designed gold tin of need-specific Bible verses that offer guidance, comfort, and strength for any situation you might face.
God's many blessings to you and Bro. Eddie Sis. Cathy. I so enjoyed this article on marriage. Thank you for your transparency and truth from God's word. Some think that marriage is a game but it is a blessing from God. Bill and I are coming up on our 24th year of marriage in November. Mother Hopkins prophesied to me and it came to pass as well. Every marriage has its challenges but in order for it to work, last, and be successful we must keep the head GOD in it. Thank you for this and I'm going to continue to follow your ministry. God's blessings and love to you both.
Sis. Denise Richardson ❤️
God's many blessings to you and Bro. Eddie Sis. Cathy. I so enjoyed this article on marriage. Thank you for your transparency and truth from God's word. So think that marriage is a game but it is a blessing from God. Bill and I are coming up on our 24th year of marriage in November. Mother Hopkins prophesied to me and it came to pass as well. Every marriage has its challenges but in order for it to work, last, and be successful we must keep the head GOD in it. Thank you for this and I'm going to continue to follow your ministry. God's blessings and love to you both.
Sis. Denise Richardson ❤️